When you encounter someone who triggers your deepest wounds....but makes you feel safe at the same time...
When hurting them...hurts you...
When "reacting" means losing them....and losing them is not an option....
When you value that person who triggers you so much that you do the work....to make damn sure you never hurt them again....
That's when you heal.
Letting our wounds and our triggers run our lives ultimately pushes people away.
Changing your ways for someone else's sake is really worth it....
As a parent...
As a lover....
As a spouse....
As a friend....
Very very hard, but a lot easier than actually losing that connection.
2021....and the day my daughter was born...taught me this.
I'm still a work in progress myself
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So from now on as you are going about your day, if something comes up that makes you feel frustrated, angry, traumatised, anxious, defensive, scared...whatever the case may be then be grateful for these moments.
As soon as it happens first calm yourself down and then look at what has just happened and ask yourself what the lesson is.
The answer will come to you.
With me it takes a day or two ( less the better I get at it ) but the penny will drop.
These precious moments of calming and holding back from reacting hold so much truth and insight.
The lesson may be that you need to have better boundaries with someone OR that you are letting someone get away with treating you really badly.
You may remember a time in your past where this feeling felt familiar and now you can see that it's a negative pattern and that you need to be brave enough to take calm, decisive action to get out of the damaging situation or make it stop.
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The sad thing is that when we feel like this and we don't actually deal with it in this way, then we ned up hurting ourselves and others as those negative responses end up going somewhere...usually coming out towards people and environments that we feel safe with i.e. family, partners or even our selves ( self harming, drinking too much etc ) and that just causes more problems.
If you need help with this please let me know
ginaisabellasimone@gmail.com